A Part Of Me: by Karin Aharon

Author:Karin Aharon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-10-19T14:00:00+00:00

Chapter 40

The next day, I told Jonathan over the phone that the hospital had suggested administrating the chemotherapy directly into mom’s spine. They were starting immediately.

Our conversations were concise, just as with Gabi, but usually much funnier. I loved his sense of humor. Last week, he got the results from his genetic test. He wasn’t a carrier of that shitty gene. I was happy for him, but was also boiled with anger. I was furious about how unlucky I was, at my screwed-up genetics, about not being able to spare my children from this gene.

When I left the parking lot, I stopped at a café and got mom some freshly-pressed orange juice. It was shocking that by simply crossing the road from the mall to the hospital, you would step into a different world. The smells change, and so do the sounds. The smiles also disappear once you cross that road.

I went up to the Neuro Surgical Ward and met Gabi in the hallway. He seemed worried and tired, but to me he would always be the handsome man I had met as a little girl. He was a standing army soldier when he came into our lives, and always wore his white air-force uniform. I thought he was the most handsome man in the world. He was a tall man (at least in the eyes of a 4-year-old), his hair combed to the side, one green eye one blue. Something of that first impression would always stay with me, I guess. Even the years that had passed and his little potbelly, didn’t make him any less handsome.

“Thank you for coming. I just really have to go to that meeting,” he gently patted me on the shoulder. He wasn’t a hugger.

“Of course, call me anytime you need. Alice knows what’s going on and doesn’t mind me working from home.”

We walked into the room, I hugged mom and sat next to her, as close as I could.

“Cathy, I’m going,” Gabi kissed her and left.

“We’ll talk,” I said, but he didn’t turn to me, just raised his hand so I would know he heard me.

“I’m really afraid of the chemo,” mom said, and I held her hand. “They inject it into the spine. Like Epidural.”

“Can’t they do it differently?” I hated needles.

“They could operate and place a tube in my head. But I preferred doing it without the tube.” She smiled, but she was obviously trying to comfort herself, not me.

“I’m sure they’re very experienced. Don’t worry.”

We talked some more about the kids and how smart they are, until the doctor walked in with a small group behind him.

“This is my daughter, doctor,” mom introduced me, and I stood up and smiled.

“OK, Cathy, we’re about to start your first chemotherapy session, by injecting into the epidural space. Please turn on your side and fold your knees up.” My presence didn’t seem to bother Dr. Bloom. As if I wasn’t there. Mom slowly turned over and I moved to the other side of the bed so I could stand in front of her.

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